[again?]

A lot has happened since I last posted... I have another blog that chronicles my daily & family life, so I am still writing, just not on this here blog. Which is a shame. Now, more than ever, I NEED this blog. I need to be held accountable for my bad choices.

I just turned 34. Just, as in yesterday. Do you know what that means? That means that in less than 364 days I will be 35.

Do I really want to weigh this much at 35? Do I really want to be THIS unhealthy at 35?
No.
I don't.

I thought about starting a new blog [again] to document this next year of my life... but I think I will stick it out with THIS blog.

I have to admit - that at the current time - I have NO idea how much I weigh. I know I am completely UP from what I weighed at the beginning of the year, and that makes me sad. I haven't changed any of my habits (good or bad), so old age must be kicking in.

When I went to the doctor last month with my husband, I jumped on the scale for a quick sneak peak: 270.
How is that possible!?

I can tell you, in the past, I've been happy with myself - no matter what I weighed. Sure, I hated clothes shopping. But my weight and health didn't stop me from being happy.

But as of late (as in the past 2 weeks)... every time I see myself in my bathroom mirror - I stop, look, and laugh. LAUGH. I am laughing at myself; at the way I look. I look horrible. I've completely let myself go. My skin, my hair, my body, my health. All of it. Gone. I am surprised my husband hasn't kicked me to the curb. I laugh because I cannot believe how I've let myself go. I look like trash.

I don't want to look like this. Part of it is that I work from home, so 5 days out of the week, I don't go anywhere... no need to get take a shower, get dressed or put make-up on. I've become incredibly lazy - which is horrible for a weight loss regime.

We just bought our first house, so I've been much busier the last three months - but lazy always wins. Any time I have a few spare minutes or hours, I am on the computer or in front of my television. I don't want to live like that.

I have a wonderful, beautiful family - my husband and three children. We can ALL benefit from changing our lifestyle (as I'm sure I've mentioned before).  My husband keeps stick-poking me to join WW again - for ALL of us. He's not happy with the weight he's put on.

So, I am starting there - going to check out WW; see what's up.

One way or another, we have to make this year - our 34th - our best year yet. We have TOO much to live for.  Why choose failure, when SUCCESS is an option?!